You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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