Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
