You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
