Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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