I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
