fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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