Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
