I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
