Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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