it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
