I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
dude. I can hear the air.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
