yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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