exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
