I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
