Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
