They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
