I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
