Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.