textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
