I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
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I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.