I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
