Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
