ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
