i just had sex bonerless
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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