hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize