Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
