Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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