help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize