Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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