So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
