Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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