My first STD was from a foam party
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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