she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
