I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
