forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
