I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
