I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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