honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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