ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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