Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
