buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
