He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
