bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
