So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
