Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
