Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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