I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
