there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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