Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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