Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
