porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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