she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize