If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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