god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
