ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
