You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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