it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
