Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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