I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
the raccoons are back...
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