He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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