"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
