I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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