I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
