My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
