I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
