btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
