She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
