the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everyone says I win the strip club
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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